The Green Eye Monster

I've always wondered why people condone such name callings as the Green Eye Monster in reference to Jealousy. Indeed, Envy has such an ugly face. One that is so atrocious to be called a monster. And the destructive energy that is dispersed with it.... I shiver at the thought of "if looks could kill"... It'd definitely be by the dagger glances of an ugly Fate darkened by a heart that's melted to stone. Annihilated just by the stench of Animosity. Burnt by just the flames of Fury. From a fair distance, a dicussion begin to settle in and I heard them whisper, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." And another one said, "I heard it tastes so sweet." A sudden gush of panic seeped in as the ambiance turned to a murky grey with a sense of chillness running down and through my spine. Evil and twisted. There's got to be more than this bond of Hate that "they" embrace so well. What happened to Love and fairytale endings? A long lost tale for the Lost souls. In stealth, I slowly dithered and crept away from the hefty conversation. The Green Eye Monster.... Speaks of evil. Sees only evil. Hears all evil.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

I'm In Here - Sia

I’m in here.

Can anybody see me?

Can anybody help?

I’m in here,

A prisoner of history.

Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me

I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me

I’m in here.

I’m trying to tell you something.

Can anybody help?

I’m in here.

I’m calling out but you cant hear.

Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me.

I’m crying out.

I’m breaking down.

I am feeling it all.

Stuck inside these walls, tell me there is hope for me.

Is anybody out there listening?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me.

I’m in here.

Can anybody hear me?

Can anybody help?

The Lost Soul

I'm screaming so loud but no one can hear me. It's like living in a vacuumed space. Nothing travels. I see familiar faces around me. The ones closest the farthest to reach. The ones near walked and passed me by.

Time stops............ Everything freezes..........
Why can't they see me? I'm right here standing so still, dead in my own tracks.
I can't breathe........ I can't breathe......... What is this suffocation?
My heart beating in drums so furiously. My visions blurring.
I reach out............ Still no hand to guide me through. The journey is so dark.
I can't see............... I can't see.............. What are these tears trickling down my cheeks?
I can't feel............. I can't feel................. My senses so numbed.
I still can't breathe........... I still can't move...........
What is this chill running down my spine? Gush of cold air sweeps by chilling the skin.
I feel so cold............. I need warmth....... I need shelter........
Why are the dark clouds still encircling above me?
Where is home? I feel so lost. Can someone find me..........

Forgiveness

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” - Sara Paddison

It is often said that when resentment is held towards another, we are bound indefinitely to that one person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to break that link and set yourself free from the grudge and hurt you lock yourself with.

Albeit time and time we hear people say "Forgive and Forget", somethings remain etched in our memories. While some are retrievable and we smile just at the very thought of it, well some others are just too deep a cut to revisit. And we continue to take baby steps away from the source of the indignant. What we don't realize is that by non-forgiveness, moving on is hard to achieve. As we hold the bitter memory dear to our souls, each step we take is shadowed with pain.

Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept what has been fated, to forgive those who have done me wrong and my own wreckages. Help me live with clarity and solace within my own existence. Give me the courage to recall the ones who have hurt me and the power to wish them well. Grant me the vision to clouds that forbodes a storm, for in future I shall be better prepared for the rain. Help me forgive Dear Lord, for I shan't take one more breath of hatred stench. Release me from vengeance, allow me to heal, bring back the smile to my lips, dry my river of tears, and guide me through life's journey unbounded.

In due time...

Her Note

As I watch you sleep
My heart skips a beat
With every breath that I take
I breathe your name
I feel you in everything I do
I see you everywhere I am
If this was never meant to last
And if it's just this one moment that I have
I shall hold on to the memory of it
Sink in with eternal bliss
Lost in the shadows of uncertainties
And be ignited with the flames of desire
Of when my someday begins
And if that day is never mine to achieve
I shall live knowing I had what I had
For just this one moment in time
I have lived...
Being complete...

Loneliness Is Not Just A Word

 "If you want to go fast, do it alone. But if you want to go far, do it together." - African proverb.

Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships. However, it is a subjective experience. Loneliness has also been described as social pain - a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of undesired isolation and motivate her/him to seek social connections.


An interesting study at the University of Chicago have linked this social pain to brain activity. In which it is said that - "The ventral striatum—a region of the brain associated with rewards—is much more activated in non-lonely people than in the lonely when they view pictures of people in pleasant settings. In contrast, the temporoparietal junction—a region associated with taking the perspective of another person—is much less activated among lonely than in the non-lonely when viewing pictures of people in unpleasant settings."


One of other leading researchers have stated that loneliness undermines health and can be as detrimental as smoking. Some have also stated that the relevance to this social inadequacy may lead to obesity and later may be the brink to Alzheimer's disease.


An article by Sunday Times, dated in May 2010, also evoked new perspectives in which technology and the pressure of modern life today are to be blamed for creating an epidemic of loneliness. The rationale to this is that the increase of internet usage, social networkings, Blackberry, and so forth, have driven the society to isolation as they trade the absolutes with a world of virtual reality. 


So how do we combat this disease of the mind named "Loneliness"?
Does increase social interactions help alleviate the inert matter of a being's choice made to live in solitude?


It is often said that if one wants to be heard, one needs to speak one's mind.
To speak one's mind, someone has to listen. 
Many have found it aimless to achieve any social interactions when everybody talks and nobody listens. Hence, most people choose to keep silent of their thoughts rather than invest wasted energy trying to be heard. And question that follows suit would be, "Now you hear me, but do you listen?"

Sigh... I do not want to be lonely... no more...

Silent Prayer

As darkness crawls into the night
Sorrow clouds, the heart so mellow
Scars revealed an ugly sight
And thoughts run deep and hollow

Soared to the moon
Bathed in sunlight
Yet darkness falls too fast too soon
Faith all shattered, I live in fright

My hopes, my toil, are cast away
I lie awake and dwell with reason
Eyes wide shut, I kneel and pray
For all things I do not fathom

Let me see the world in a grain of sand
Grant me the will to fill the void with love
Let grasp the future in my hand
And let me rise and reign above

Oh help me God, hear me speak
And hear my whispers in the wind
Forsake me not, though I am weak
Forgive my wrath and all my sins

In solitude, Dear Lord, these silent tears I cry 
Visions impaired, long gone has my divine afflatus
As silence becomes me, choices made to live or die
I seek solace in Your presence, undue mercy and forgiveness.

H E A R T B E A T

I fell in love with Enrique all over again. 

Sexy eyes. Sexy moves. 

Simply S E X Y ....

Takes my breath away.

---------------------------

I don’t know where we're going
I don’t know who we are

Feels like we are flowing

High above the stars, 
the stars, the stars, the stars 


No matter what it is you think
I’m not the kind of girl to blink
And give my heart away
Stop tryin’ to steal my heart away

Stop stealing my heart away

You’re stealing my heart away

I can feel your H E A R T B E A T

Psychedelic Art

"Smile like you really mean it,Baby."

They say the eyes are the windows to one's soul.

X . O . X . O

Oh My God! R E A L L Y ???

While time awaits for no man.
*us bummin'*

Walk the Talk.

Has anger solved any of your problems YET?

"Blackberry junkie alert."

J u x t a p o s e d

"Roses are red. There are no blue violets here.
And no sugar. No You either." - L A M E . com

S i g h . . .

Journey On

"The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision." -Helen Keller

I came across a rather interesting quote today that struck me dead. Why? Only the obvious, of course. Sight and no vision. I've come to accept the terms of not knowing where life may lead us as a notion to begin with hoping for what's best in future — when no real effort is being invested. It is as pointless as not seeing it when no believes is fostered upon a certain being.

As we grow into an age of frustrations through many downfalls, there's little hope that anything will ever suffice to make better of what is already broken. And yet...and yet...hope is often talked about.

Experience has it that one may tend to choose what suits them best through avoiding a path that may lead to failure. So often that we run away from chances and are not willing to take risks just because...
Question is... How will we ever know what works?

I came across an interesting offer last weekend by a mutual friend. A chance in a lifetime in living THE dream. Still contemplations arise and I find myself battling with risks and benefits and with even much thought still retrieve and settle for what I know as my comfort zone.

Hmm... Perhaps I shall break away from tired routines and venture unto a new path. Albeit the road seems a little lonely to be ventured upon in solitude. But with a little faith... just a little faith... I might just stumble upon serendipity.

Take a chance. Blow your mind. Ease that pain. LIVE.

It won't kill to breathe, just a lil...

Let's open that Pandora's box.

Lies and Deceptions

Everybody lies. It would be a lie upon a lie to boldly state "I never lie"...and it would be a bigger deception of truth to admit that one can be such a bad liar when in truth we perceive to be such only to impose an impression of not wanting to be deceptive. But fact remains, that we hide behind those shadows of lies to create a bigger lie. And soon enough we believe those lies to be true. And we live by it. And before too late comes, everything just becomes a greatly formed lie that when dispersed will only be particles of deceptive truths. So tell me, what is real? When the life you live is made up of the lies you so willingly build. When deception becomes the noun that you adjectively started. Your illusions of truths that has deluded you into believing that it is part of life. I feel so wronged. And I am wrong. And yet, I continue to be.

Love the way you lie??
Like the way it hurts???

Seriously.

Oh well... Be careful of what you wish for now...

I Love You...Not...

“I love You.” 

Three words that seem so overused these days that sometimes becomes so routinely said that it loses its meaning. 

Love…What is love? 

Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment – according to Wiki. (Wikipedia knows it all…Right.) 

I have pondered upon, digested on it, still the words don’t vomit out as easily as I would hope it to be. 

Sublimeness. What is it that it’s so important to feel? 

So obscure yet so defining that I should be so afraid of feeling…and then losing…and then…not wanting…

At 29 I’m still in search for the true meaning in this thing called love. Advocate my actions in hopes that all falls into place. Yet…I feel empty. Can love be so hollow as to not let one rise above and beyond the horizons of what love seemingly has to offer? 

I beg to differ and opine broaching on the context of an everlasting love… As time changes people and in time we suffer the consequences of love being jaded and old…

So how is forever ever determined? 

How is love an exemplary of good faith in instilling eternal happiness when it is so often mistreated, misguided, and in my lifetime, misplaced….

I have no faith in love…no hope…no agenda…

I’d like to believe that true love will find its cause. 

I’d like to hope that love will in return be my savior from a downfall. But somehow, all hope and faith ceased and has led me to believe that love is just a game…

Played not just by two…

Which leaves me back to where I started…

Clueless of this thing called love…Fearing it at most…

Not wanting to feel in defense of not wanting to hurt...myself…or others…

Yet as I speak, my heart seems to disagree and agree… 

Battling the subconscious mind. 

The grey area…as so to speak…

No depth…No border…No defined clarity…