Year Of The Dragon

2012. Year of the Dragon. Feisty...

Wow, a year has gone and passed just like the wind.
I have been stalling to write for almost forever now... Well atleast that is how it feels.
Forawhile, amidst all the hiatus throughout 2011, the series of unfortunate events, it felt as though talking nor writing would suffice. I was literally at a loss of words.

Oh well, now that ship has sailed. 2012...
A brand new year. A little late to speak of resolutions, naah...it's never too late but however, as it is true for me every year, my new year's resolutions are never put to test. So I shall not bother to jot down my nitty gritty of what might be of future failed attempts and another basket-full of wasted resolutions.

But what I do know....
This is a good year for changes to occur...

And that alone is enough to warm my heart and plant a smile on my lips...

To better days...To a better future.

Amen.

With Love, Daughter.

Walking down the memory lane,
Where as a child I'd hear you sing,
Of all the sorrow and all the pain,
And all the beauty that life brings.

I remember the long strolls we shared,
The countless lessons you were preaching,
The very essence to every word said,
And how everyday would bring new meaning.

If anything, you've taught me how to love and to care,
You picked me up when I was shattered,
You held me close in my despair,
And it is in your warm embrace that I feel most protected.

Daddy, I might have lapsed and lost my way, 
Might have not said what I needed to say,
But everyday I'd sit and pray,
That God will never take you away.

Your love is endeared to my heart,
Your spirit is engraved in my mind,
When all else fails and falls apart,
You'd guide me through though my faith is blind.

Dear Daddy, time has passed ever so swiftly,
Season's changed and so has it's glory,
But those distinctive memories will always be,
The best part of our lives, you and me.

And I will always love you, Daddy.

The Green Eye Monster

I've always wondered why people condone such name callings as the Green Eye Monster in reference to Jealousy. Indeed, Envy has such an ugly face. One that is so atrocious to be called a monster. And the destructive energy that is dispersed with it.... I shiver at the thought of "if looks could kill"... It'd definitely be by the dagger glances of an ugly Fate darkened by a heart that's melted to stone. Annihilated just by the stench of Animosity. Burnt by just the flames of Fury. From a fair distance, a dicussion begin to settle in and I heard them whisper, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." And another one said, "I heard it tastes so sweet." A sudden gush of panic seeped in as the ambiance turned to a murky grey with a sense of chillness running down and through my spine. Evil and twisted. There's got to be more than this bond of Hate that "they" embrace so well. What happened to Love and fairytale endings? A long lost tale for the Lost souls. In stealth, I slowly dithered and crept away from the hefty conversation. The Green Eye Monster.... Speaks of evil. Sees only evil. Hears all evil.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

I'm In Here - Sia

I’m in here.

Can anybody see me?

Can anybody help?

I’m in here,

A prisoner of history.

Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me

I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me

I’m in here.

I’m trying to tell you something.

Can anybody help?

I’m in here.

I’m calling out but you cant hear.

Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me.

I’m crying out.

I’m breaking down.

I am feeling it all.

Stuck inside these walls, tell me there is hope for me.

Is anybody out there listening?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?

I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.

I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…

Live with inside of me.

I’m in here.

Can anybody hear me?

Can anybody help?

The Lost Soul

I'm screaming so loud but no one can hear me. It's like living in a vacuumed space. Nothing travels. I see familiar faces around me. The ones closest the farthest to reach. The ones near walked and passed me by.

Time stops............ Everything freezes..........
Why can't they see me? I'm right here standing so still, dead in my own tracks.
I can't breathe........ I can't breathe......... What is this suffocation?
My heart beating in drums so furiously. My visions blurring.
I reach out............ Still no hand to guide me through. The journey is so dark.
I can't see............... I can't see.............. What are these tears trickling down my cheeks?
I can't feel............. I can't feel................. My senses so numbed.
I still can't breathe........... I still can't move...........
What is this chill running down my spine? Gush of cold air sweeps by chilling the skin.
I feel so cold............. I need warmth....... I need shelter........
Why are the dark clouds still encircling above me?
Where is home? I feel so lost. Can someone find me..........

Forgiveness

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” - Sara Paddison

It is often said that when resentment is held towards another, we are bound indefinitely to that one person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to break that link and set yourself free from the grudge and hurt you lock yourself with.

Albeit time and time we hear people say "Forgive and Forget", somethings remain etched in our memories. While some are retrievable and we smile just at the very thought of it, well some others are just too deep a cut to revisit. And we continue to take baby steps away from the source of the indignant. What we don't realize is that by non-forgiveness, moving on is hard to achieve. As we hold the bitter memory dear to our souls, each step we take is shadowed with pain.

Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept what has been fated, to forgive those who have done me wrong and my own wreckages. Help me live with clarity and solace within my own existence. Give me the courage to recall the ones who have hurt me and the power to wish them well. Grant me the vision to clouds that forbodes a storm, for in future I shall be better prepared for the rain. Help me forgive Dear Lord, for I shan't take one more breath of hatred stench. Release me from vengeance, allow me to heal, bring back the smile to my lips, dry my river of tears, and guide me through life's journey unbounded.

In due time...